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hybridshadeTitle: A Question of Fate
Pairing: J2
Rating: nc-17
Warnings: ABO AU, vague mpreg!Jensen, lonely!J2, old but not old!Jensen, angst, schmoop, fantasy/mythological themes
Word count: 10.3k
Summary: Jared has never fit in with his pack, so he goes on a journey guided by the first moon of the New Year and the spirits of old, hoping to find all that his soul searches for.
A/N: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
morrezela for the mpreg_xmas_xchg exchange! I went with your 'lonely creature who's never been mated' prompt and while I could have had this up earlier I decided to take my time and flesh it out properly. Also, I was inspired by an ipad game called 'Year Walk' which I played recently, although my fic isn't nearly as creepy! Anyway, I hope you enjoy~
EDIT: also on AO3
It was on the stroke of midnight when Jared pulled the door open and stepped out into the cold. And hesitated.
How had he gotten himself in this position? He'd been asking himself the same question for several days already. And supposedly he was simply to toddle out into the snow, out into the woods for a bit, wander around and hey, presto! He'd find all the answers his soul was searching for. At least, that was the theory.
He still was unsure what exactly it was that had made him announce he wanted to go Questing – or Fate Questing, as it was properly known. It was an ancient practice, and not one people employed much in present times. In fact, Jared had been about sixteen or seventeen the last time he remembered hearing of someone going through the ritual, and the man's decayed body had been found in the woods several months later, likely having died of exposure to the cold.
But for Jared, for all his subsequent uncertainties, somewhere deep down he sensed this was his way out, one way or another, whatever the end may bring. He was twenty-five now, and all but an outcast amongst his own. He was taller and broader than all the other males in his pack – including the alpha, which often brought him the wrong sort of attention – his eyes weren't of the common brown but instead were somewhere between hazel and amber, and despite that a handful of omegas and female betas had presented to him over the years, not once had he ever felt the least bit attracted to anyone from his pack. Or from outside his pack, for that matter. Twenty-five and unmated was a shameful position to be in, and it was one of the pack's worst-kept secrets that the majority suspected his mother had conceived him by a male that wasn't his father. To them it was the only explanation that made any sense.
Most Weres still lived in packs like Jared's, though generally they were more urban-minded and thus lived closer to the human cities. Jared's pack, while small groups did travel to the cities every now and then, lived much further out from civilisation. Few remaining packs kept to themselves and adhered to the old traditions in the way they did. Although, that had begun to change with Jared's generation. Those his age were far more eager to visit the cities and spend whatever human money they had saved on unnecessary trinkets – jewellery, fancy clothes, electronic gadgets and the like. Jared had a watch from his second trip to the city when he was twenty, back when his father had been ill and in need of human medicine, but that was the extent of his acquisitions. Perhaps if he'd been more interested like his peers, he would simply have packed a bag and moved to the city to live instead of taking on a millennia-old tradition that could yet see him dead.
But that would be a betrayal of his heart. And if Jared prided himself on being one thing above all others, it was honest.
Jared urged himself on from where he'd dallied on the doorstep, moving forth into the field outside. He wore an outfit made completely of pelt and hide, including his boots. It was warm enough for now, but once it was dampened from all the snow and crusted in ice crystals he wasn't so sure if he'd feel the same way. His body ran hot, sure - that was true of most Weres - but he was tired and hungry and it would be a challenge to keep up his usual energy levels.
The whole thing was a gamble, that was half the point of it, and Jared knew he was already running on half-power. Part of the ritual had required that he spend three days in a lightless, fireless cabin, and then the last twenty-four hours he had also to go without food or any contact with the outside world. Jared had spent most of the time sleeping, probably even too much, but then again his meals had been little more than bread, water and some dried meat – barely enough to keep his strength up.
He'd kept to the rules, though, determined to see it through where many had expected him to fail. Many of the males he'd grown up with had laughed at him, some taunting him about having a death wish, his mother had been hysterical and promised him all manner of things if only he'd change his mind. The only ones who'd taken him seriously were the pack Elders. Julian was somewhere in the realm of two hundred years old (no one knew for certain), and of a different breed than the younger wolves around him. Jared had gone to see him with Alpha Jeff at his back, and Julian had looked at him in a way no one else had ever done before. Jared had felt exposed standing before him, and yet Julian had understood, seen something inside him that was begging to get out. It was only by the Elder's acknowledgement that everyone actually started to respect his decision.
And so there he was, trudging through the snow at midnight under the New Year's moon. Its blue glow guided him through the deserted field and up the hill to the pack cemetery, casting an eerie light over the simple rock-covered graves. He passed them by as he'd been told to do, only stopping when he came to the entrance of the single tomb there, the one that housed the remains of his ancestors, the ones that had first established the pack lands here in these woods.
He entered the dark tomb and knelt before the large, wooden wolf statue that held pride of place. He took a small blade from the sheath strapped to his thigh and made a small cut on his thumb, then pressed it to the side of the statue where he could just make out a brownish stain – no doubt where those who had gone before him had done the same.
Jared called out to the spirits of his ancestors and asked them for their guidance, their protection on his Questing. His mind turned to what he was leaving behind, and he thought about the other males who would be just as likely to scoff at the thought of appealing to long dead animal spirits, their disregard for the old ways not hardly a secret. He thought as well of the small handful of females and omegas that had presented themselves to him as potential mates, and his reluctance, then eventual disgust at having to politely scent them before telling them that he wasn't interested. He thought of the stories he'd been told of the 'old days', of their ancestors, when Weres walked the earth in their wolf forms as often as in their humanoid ones, when the human race still either feared them or worshipped them or both. He thought of the conversation he'd had once with Alpha Jeff when he'd asked why those females and omegas smelled so repulsive to him, and Jeff's response that once upon a time Weres had been born with only one True Mate in their heart and could go decades, even centuries while they searched for that single person who could fulfil their bond.
He thought that perhaps his mother hadn't really stepped out on his father like people said, that perhaps he'd simply been born to the right people in the wrong century.
A hunger pang spiked through Jared's gut – at least, that's what he supposed it was – and he was shocked out of his thoughts, his bloody thumb pulling away from the statue. He stood shakily and retreated outside into the light of the moon, following the path through the cemetery that brought him to the edge of the forest.
He paused. And sniffed. And blinked.
All his senses seemed strangely sharp suddenly and the stars above were unnaturally bright. Glancing down at his watch he noticed that half an hour had passed already, except… somehow his watch had stopped. It chilled him a little to think that he'd had it for going on six years, had never even needed to change the battery, and then it chose that night of all nights to stop working.
Shrugging and shaking the chill away he walked onward, into the unknown journey beyond.
There was a path at first, leading him in straight, and then turning and winding around and around until it eventually turned on itself like a snake eating its tail, leaving Jared to make his own path. The trees became denser the deeper Jared went, the moon's light only filtering down every now and then, fingers reaching down through the treetops. His eyes never failed him, however. It might have been dark to the point of oppression but Jared could somehow still make out the subtlest of details along his trail – an owl perched silently on an icy branch, a tree root breaching the snow-dampened earth just high enough to trip him up. His hunger pangs would flare every now and again, slowing his progress, but he felt there was too much at stake and he brushed them aside each time.
There was no telling how long he travelled before he started to see them.
Things. Visions. Whatever they were.
At first he supposed the most logical thing – that the days of no fire, little food, and enforced solitude were getting to him. That he was being paranoid and making up things that weren't there. Keeping himself company, his mind occupied. Anything to make sense of this ridiculous position he'd put himself into.
But that was part of the deal, wasn't it? Was he not out there in the freezing conditions searching for some manner of supernatural sign? Something that would cut across his sky like a shooting star and then some great purpose would reveal itself?
Jared decided that he wouldn’t find his answers in this state, that if he was already too fearful of it, how could he possibly accept his fate when he was suddenly face-to-face with it?
With that thought he carried on with a new resolve, pointedly looking at those shadows that flitted in and out of his periphery, facing them head-on.
It amounted to nothing at first, merely leaves or branches which had become caught up in channels of wind flowing down through the treetops. That placated him for some time, until the lights appeared, that is. Tiny little pinhead-sized lights that flickered like the stars he could no longer see above him. He tried endlessly to get close enough, just to see – were they insects of some sort, like small fireflies? They were mocking him, whatever they were, because as soon as he drew near they would either back away out of reach or wink out entirely. He chased after them nonetheless, following them like twinkling breadcrumbs, deeper into the forest and further and further away from his home.
They teased him relentlessly, and he feared he may never be able to stop such was the force that lured him after them. But then he saw it.
That face.
Those eyes.
They were the eyes of Elder Julian embedded into the face and body of a man as young as Jared. And yet, there was no mistaking that it was Julian himself, or some sort of spectre of him, some sort of projection from Jared's mind perhaps. He couldn't look away from the phantom Elder standing amongst the trees in the distance, clear as day, but Jared realised he'd finally stopped running. He was \ panting, though, and he could feel that his limbs were trembling with exhaustion even if his head hadn't quite caught up with the fact.
And still Julian held his utmost attention. The pale form staring at him, never blinking.
Jared crept forward warily, as if he were stalking a small animal, and he was thrilled to find that the phantom stayed as he was, still as a statue. It took a long time for Jared to get close – close enough to see the polished fingernails and the fine details of the strange suit he wore – and then the young Elder looked at him, through him, beckoning him forth with those well-kept hands.
He followed like a puppy on a leash, eager for whatever reward lay ahead. The Elder never slowed from his considerable pace, and Jared struggled at times to keep up, occasionally lagging behind and becoming more aware of the life blooming around him. Bird calls and the snarls of predators, twigs snapping underfoot – never mind that it was still black as pitch with no sign of the impending dawn.
One sound did catch his ears in particular, though. There was no mistaking the low howl of a wolf. It appeared only once, twice, and then it was gone. But Jared knew what he'd heard and it didn't strike him as a coincidence.
Julian led him downhill and suddenly his hunger pangs rose up with a vengeance, nearly bringing him to his knees. He scrambled onward best he could, but was thankful when the Elder finally came to a stop, revealing a small lake hidden amongst the trees, its surface hardened into a single, smooth sheet of ice. Jared only had to blink and immediately a second apparition appeared, this time in the shape of a young boy standing on the edge of the icy lake. He looked much like the boy Chad, who'd gone missing from the pack going on ten years ago and who had turned up dead about a week later. Alpha Jeff had informed everyone that he'd drowned in the nearby river, but this ghost – or whatever he was – didn't look like he'd drowned. Certainly he looked sallow and lifeless, but there was something off about his features, almost to the point where he didn't look human anymore. His eyes were a sickly yellow colour, and his teeth were pointed and too big for his mouth. His fingernails were also sharp-tipped and much longer than normal.
Jared folded to the ground in pain, the pangs that had previously been concentrated in his stomach suddenly shooting out into his limbs, pulling him down onto all fours.
"Come, Jared," Elder Julian implored from above, making no move to help him, "Embrace your destiny."
A scream rose up in his throat as Jared struggled to remain conscious of his surroundings.
He forced his head back up, only to find the boy and Elder Julian both gone, and he wailed in despair, knowing that he was on his own from here on.
Except… A sound.
He held himself still until he heard it again. The crinkling of leaves and twigs underfoot.
Something was watching him, coming closer. And Jared had no way to protect himself. It was beginning to feel as if his fate was simply to die.
The presence continued to move nearer, circling around the side of the lake, prowling. Jared tried to catch a glimpse, but whenever he managed to hold his head up long enough for his eyes to focus, all he could make out was dark and shadow and more dark.
A torrent of agony washed through him without warning, and Jared found himself writhing uncontrollably over the cold, slushy ground, his furs now heavy with caked mud. He felt as though he'd been stepped on, like every bone inside him had been crushed, and there was no way he was ever moving from that spot. If his pack ever ventured out that far into the woods they would find his body broken and decayed, just like what had happened to the last Were who'd dared go Questing.
There came the snapping of a twig from barely a few yards behind him and Jared couldn't help but fear the worst. His heart raced in his chest, his mind clouding over with terror. And then there was nothing.
_.~*^*~._
Jared sat up with a start, his breath coming in short pants.
It took a few moments for him to gather his thoughts and for the memories of his Questing to filter through, unbelievable though they were. It read like something out of a fairy story, the type of tales you told children to keep them from being reckless and disobedient, except that his story was real. Or, at least, he supposed it was.
Now he was on some kind of pallet on the floor, wearing only the soft cotton shorts and singlet he'd worn under his furs, and he looked down at his bare limbs, expecting to find some sort of physical damage. But there was none. He was as whole as he'd been when he started his journey, nothing ached but for his empty stomach and his skin was almost pristine but for the dirt under his fingernails.
Jared shook his head in disbelief and took a look around him. He was in some sort of wooden shack in what appeared to be the bedroom, though the room itself was barely big enough to fit the pallet along with the small chest and shelf pushed against the far wall. There was a small window placed up high which let the daylight in from outside, and the walls were bare but for a small animal skin, some feathers, and a bunch of dried flowers that hung above the bed.
The sound of someone clearing their throat had Jared nearly hitting the ceiling, and he whipped his head around to find the presence of another male in the doorway, his eyes green as a willow tree and his expression carefully blank. He was tall, though not as tall as Jared, slim but well-muscled, and there was an almost... haunting air about him, if strangely alluring at the same time. He stood so still Jared wondered if he was even breathing, and it reminded him, oddly enough, of Elder Julian.
"I see you're up. Feeling alright now?"
Jared nodded, then clenched his fists against the blanket he still sat on. Physically he couldn't have been much better. But mentally - that was another story.
"Fine. Although I have to wonder if there was anything wrong with me in the first place."
That got a faint smile curling the corner of the Were's lips - and there was no doubt he was a Were. Jared had always had a knack for distinguishing his own kind from humans, though the differences were becoming more subtle by the year.
"Indeed, perhaps not. Or nothing a good meal and a little more rest can't fix."
Jared had to raise an eyebrow in question – the male seemed to think his ordeal amusing.
"And what would you know?"
"You've been Questing, am I right? It's been many years, but I once went on a Fate Quest of my own. I still remember it quite clearly."
"Did you… see visions, too?"
The Were grimaced, a shadow passing through his eyes. "Of a sort. But everyone reacts differently to the drug."
"Drug?" Jared's brows must have hit his hairline. "What are you talking about?"
"You haven't figured it out? Questing is an old tradition, so I can't imagine they'd have changed much of the ritual, but you had to cut your hand, yes?"
Jared nodded and held up his scabbed thumb, floored by what he was being told.
"One of your elders will have rubbed the leaves of a hallucinogenic plant on the statue of your ancestor. When you press the open wound to it, enough of the plant material enters your body in order to drug you, just mildly."
"So, basically I've been tricked and the whole thing was some delusion I made up in my mind?"
"No, not at all!"
The Were was clearly upset by his conclusion.
"Questing takes you on a true spiritual journey guided by your ancestors, that is without question. But many who take on the Quest are already lost in some way, their mind is closed to the answers they seek, so the effect of the plant enables them to open their eyes enough to see what they need to see. It clears your mind rather than clouds it, so you can be sure that everything you experienced was at the insistence of the spirits."
"You sound like you know a lot about it."
"As it is, I've had a lot of time to think it over… Besides, I don't get much in the way of visitors out here and most of my pack would be long gone by now. Meditation and communing with the spirits has become something of a past time of mine."
Jared snorted. Meditation and communion? It sounded like something his grandmother would say. But how old could this male possibly be? His skin was fair and lightly freckled, without a wrinkle in sight. His hands were slightly worn from working, but no more than Jared's own, and he certainly didn't seem sick or mentally afflicted in any way. "You barely look older than me and yet you talk like you're ancient. Maybe I should call you Elder?"
"Maybe you should, since you speak like you're a child."
Jared knew how juvenile he must have appeared, yet he stood to his full height and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm a full twenty-five years and a grown man, thanks very much. If my family had their way I'd be mated and a father by now, so that hardly makes me a child."
He waited for some witty retort but nothing came, and he looked up to see the other Were suddenly looking pale to the point of passing out.
"Hey, are you alri—?"
"You're twenty-five and already an adult? Spirits above, what year is it?"
"Ugh… two thousand thirteen?"
All the air went out of the Were and he slouched against the door frame, pressing a hand to his temple. Jared wondered if he should be helping him in some way, but since he gave no sign of wanting any Jared simply stayed put, watching the conflicting emotions passing over his face. And not that he looked ancient, but Jared could definitely see an air of age about the Were then, something deep-set in his eyes and face that - yet again - was reminiscent of Elder Julian.
"You called yourself a grown man. You are a Were though, yes?"
"Of course. Just a figure of speech."
"When I found you back at the lake… it did not look natural. How often do you shift?"
Jared's lips twisted in confusion. "Uh, shift?"
"You don't—?" The male heaved a defeated sigh, looking like the weight of the world was bearing down on him. "It seems things have changed more than I could've imagined. But I suppose it's my own fault for living the way I do, shutting out all contact with the packs… Please, tell me your name and what pack you're from?"
"Fine, but turnabout is fair play, you know? I'm Jared, my Alpha is Jeff Morgan. I'm from the Silverash pack lands."
The male nodded as if in agreement. "Yes, I remember Silverash. Who's your High Elder?"
"Julian," Jared said grudgingly, wanting some answers of his own, "Supposedly he's two-hundred-and-something but no one knows for sure."
"Ah, yes, I think I met him once… And I think you'll find he's older than what he says. As for me, I'm Jensen, from the Birchwood pack lands. And going by the year, I'm now a little way past five-hundred."
Jared's jaw met the ground so hard he wondered if it made a thud. "Five… Five hundred years? How is that even—?"
"I assure it you it was quite normal among my pack. We were expected to live three millennia or more, though most would end up killed in combat before they ever lived that long. It's been hundreds of years since I was with them so who knows if they're still around or not – fighting was a daily occurrence where I came from, so I wouldn't be surprised if they all bit each other to death."
"That's insane," Jared said, half to himself.
"A little," Jensen agreed, "I should add that my pack did live a bit longer than most. We were the direct descendants of Fenrir, the wolf demi-god, so our blood lines ran strong. The tallest, strongest, most enduring of Weres on the continent, or so our Alpha maintained."
"Wouldn't dare debate it," Jared offered, almost tired of hearing all the revelatory things that Jensen had to say. Curious, he sniffed the air a moment. "And you're definitely tall for an omega."
Jensen looked interested at that. "You can smell me from this distance?"
"Well, no, but I can't smell alpha so I just figured…"
Nodding, Jensen had that defeated look again. "Part of why I left was that I was too small by my pack's standards. I'm more beta-sized, while omegas were expected to be about your size and alphas were bigger again. A bigger omega means they're more likely to have bigger, healthier pups, so I'm sure you can fill in the blanks."
Jared could have laughed. "I left because I had the opposite problem. I was always called 'freak' because of my eye colour and because I was so much bigger than everyone else. Elder Julian was always the tallest one around when I was growing up, and then I bested him by several inches."
"We're quite a pair, then." Jensen beckoned him with a brief wave of his hand. "Let's get you fed."
_.~*^*~._
Jared sat on a wooden crate acting as a makeshift chair, spooning himself mouthfuls of the meat and potato stew Jensen had prepared. As he'd quickly discovered upon leaving the bedroom, the shack was literally two rooms and a roof. The second room was thankfully a little bigger than the bedroom and acted as a kitchen, living room, dining room, all rolled into one. Everything was rudimentary at best. There was barely enough room for them both to sit and barely enough utensils for them both to enjoy the stew, but as Jensen defensively pointed out it suited his lifestyle just fine. Jared couldn't argue with that – it was functional and cosy, and he'd probably be quite happy to have something similar for himself.
A fireplace and chimney were situated in the corner, encased in stone and clay, which kept the whole place toasty warm as well as serving as the cooking area. A window was cut into one wall similarly to the bedroom, but it was boarded up for the winter. Jared, however, had taken a quick look outside when he'd first gotten up to follow Jensen, only to find two more basic wooden structures – one was a shed for tools and firewood with a vegetable garden on the side, the other was the outhouse – but the rest of the view was snow-covered forest as far as the eye could see. Jared had spent most of his young life debating the problems of his own pack living in such a remote area, but Jensen really took the cake when it came to isolation. He really had to wonder about Jensen's quality of life after living like that for so many years.
He'd been told he could ask more questions after they'd eaten, so Jared had taken his time in both the eating and thinking stakes, trying to make sense of what it meant that his Questing had ended there, and then what that meant for the rest of his life. He'd never had any intention of ever returning to his pack lands, even if that meant he'd ended up dead, but then again he'd never expected to end up in a tiny little shack in the middle of nowhere either, holed up with the most attractive - if perpetually serious - omega he'd ever set eyes on, who also happened to be a descendant of a wolf god and over half a century old.
Life was a strange and fickle thing.
"Jensen," Jared began tentatively, putting his spoon down, "Will you tell me… What was happening to me when you found me in the forest?"
"You were shifting." Straight to the point and not one iota of inflection.
"Shifting what?"
"Shifting into you wolf form," Jensen said acidly, swallowing his own mouthful of stew, "I can't believe no one shifts anymore. What kind of Were can't shift? It's unfathomable to me! But regardless… you were going through a first shift. The first few tries are always particularly painful and rarely complete."
Jared hesitated, sensing Jensen's fluctuating mood. It was the most animated he'd been so far, but Jared wasn't sure what to make of it. "What do you mean, rarely complete?"
"As in, the first shift usually only involves your teeth, your nails, some of your hair… maybe you'll get a tail or your eyes will change. You, Jared, had actually started developing your wolf shape when I found you, which doesn't generally happen on a first shift, but then again you're much older than you should be - comparatively. It can be very painful, like I said, and some don't survive it."
Something twigged for Jared then, and he was finally able to let go of that haunting image from his Questing. It had confused him at the time, but the image of the boy, and then phantom-Julian's words, made a whole lot more sense to him now. Somehow, someway, that thought he'd had back in the ancestor's tomb possibly wasn't too far off – it was definitely sounding like he wasn't the freak he'd always he was, he was simply an anomaly of the time. If he'd been born several hundred years early he probably would have fit right in.
"I don't know why no one shifts anymore. As a child I was told stories about Weres from the past who changed into wolves, but we all assumed they were just that – kid's stories. I know Weres have traits that are like a wolf's, but… well, you know… evolution and all that."
"Your Elder should have known. If it's the same Julian as I knew then he was once able to shift. He should have taught you all. He has a responsibility to those under his charge."
"Then he must have forgotten or something. I never heard a thing about him being able to shift."
"It's criminal, is what it is... But he can't have been the only Elder that conveniently 'forgot'. It's just not possible that he's the only one remaining who's of that age."
Jared pondered that thought for a moment, and something suddenly occurred to him.
"You know, when I was at school, I didn't pay much attention during history lessons but I remember there was a long period where there were ongoing pack wars. I don't know where it happened but thousands were killed, and the only way it stopped was that the remaining Alphas got together and came to some sort of truce."
Jensen tapped his chin in thought. "I see what you're getting at, and that's definitely an explanation which would make sense. Alphas can become ten times more aggressive in their wolf form and five times as strong, so it's not unreasonable to think that they put some sort of ban on shifting. Perhaps they even used locks of some kind - a bracelet or necklace of silver can prevent most from shifting. I can't imagine that they could have predicted the outcome, however."
"Yeah, that they'd forget how to do it altogether."
"Not to mention the physiological and societal changes."
"And now the younger the generation, the more they want to live like humans."
Jensen smirked. "Now that would have rubbed the alphas-of-old the wrong way, without a doubt." He stood and collected their empty bowls, taking them to a nearby basin to wash them clean. "And then there are the anomalies like ourselves, who don't seem to fit anywhere… Although…"
Turning, Jared found himself faced with Jensen's back, bent over the basin. And it called to him. It was enough that Jared had gotten half a smile out of Jensen, but being faced with the perfect shape of his body, and from that angle... "Although?"
"I've been thinking. Mostly about your eye colour. It's quite distinctive and—" Jensen cleared his throat, "The descendants of the great wolf Amarok had similar colouring, if I recall correctly. Amarok was long before my time, but the story goes that he was the largest wolf who ever lived, and a beast of a man. His pack were known for being vicious fighters and they lived and hunted in much smaller groups so as to keep the aggression between them at a minimum. It's possible that one of your parents is a descendant and passed the Amarok characteristics on to you."
For all Jared knew, Jensen's words were nothing more than a story, but he decided that he'd take it and run with it all the same. The thought that there was a reason he was the way he was, that there was history and purpose behind it, warmed him in a way nothing else ever had.
The remainder of the day was spent chatting with an ease unfamiliar to Jared, and likely just as unfamiliar to Jensen considering his solitary life. They discussed everything from the way pack law had changed, to their experiences with human society, and so many things in between. Jensen had even promised him that he would teach Jared how to shift properly and would help him through the discomfort of the first few transitions.
Jared could scarcely believe that his Questing had brought him to a conclusion of such worth, both with a Were with a fount of old knowledge, and an omega whose enigmatic eyes and half-smiles made his heart flutter within his chest – a feeling he'd heard about so many times, but had never before experienced it for himself.
Jared was put to bed on a stomach full of boiled vegetables and salted meat, and he dared not dream. A dream could never compare to the reality.
_.~*^*~._
When Jared woke it was to the smell of more well-cooked meat.
The other side of the pallet had not been slept in, and unless Jensen had somehow managed to squeeze onto the floor by the fire, Jared had to wonder if the other Were had slept at all.
He put on the hide breeches and boots which Jensen had salvaged from back in the forest and were now both clean and dry, and entered the other room to find Jensen skilfully cutting up the remains of a fresh kill. Jared had no idea what time of the day it was, but Jensen had already been out hunting and had returned with some sort of large bird, which was now plucked and in the process of being chopped and roasted. He was productive, Jared had to give him that.
"Did you sleep?"
Jensen looked away from his task only briefly. "No, but I can go up to three days without it. I don't mind, but if you intend to stay we will have to discuss arrangements."
Fair's fair.
Taking a seat on the crate, Jared watched as Jensen worked, checking the meat and fetching more firewood when he was asked. He hadn't really had time to think it through yet, but he did know that he wasn't ready to leave this place. There was so much more to know of Jensen, more questions to ask and skills to learn – shifting included. Jensen had made a promise about that one, after all. And Jared wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty, either. He would be an eager student if Jensen was willing to show him more about this way of life. Although Jared supposed the way in which he'd grown up wasn't all that far removed, except for the fact Alpha Jeff had shotguns and a shiny blue car, and there was basic electricity in most houses. Some of his peers had had those handheld telephones, too, though Jared had no idea how they worked. He'd often heard them complaining about having 'no reception', but whenever he'd asked what they meant they'd simply scoffed and walked away.
The mess of the game had been cleared away and they were just sitting down to eat when Jared noticed it.
It was just the hint of something on the air, very slightly sweet but it smelled more robust than sugar or honey. Jared followed it with his nose – which seemed more keen since his Questing – and could only come to the conclusion that it wasn't something in Jensen's cooking, but Jensen himself.
"What's the matter?"
"You smell different," Jared said with interest, "Sort of… spicy, or something."
"…Oh."
Jensen looked immediately miserable and refused to look up from the floor.
"That's a bad thing?" Jared questioned.
"It means…" Jensen pushed his plate away and wrapped his arms over his chest as if he were cold. "It means that I'm possibly on the verge of going into heat. I should have expected it, perhaps. I haven't been around another alpha in around four hundred years, so it makes sense that my body would react in some way. Although, that was another reason why I left my pack. The thought of mating or going into heat terrified me, not that anyone really wanted to mate me…"
"Then they were fools," Jared said under his breath.
If Jensen heard him then he ignored it, and went about eating his meal in such a way that he couldn't possibly have had time to enjoy it. Once he finished he moved to the basin to clean his plate and utensils.
"I'll have to prepare things in case."
Jared didn't dare to ask. Jensen's movements became frantic and his hands were clearly shaking, so it was obvious the whole idea of heats was very much a sore spot for him. It crushed Jared's heart a little, to think that Jensen had been hurt enough by his pack to send him running. Though, that was near exactly what he'd done himself, wasn't it? He'd stood out too much amongst his peers and eventually it had proven more than he could take. He wanted to mate someone that actually liked him and didn't just present themselves because he was available or because their parents had told them to. He imagined it must have been similar for Jensen, though that was not a question he would ever allow to pass his lips. Perhaps he would tell Jared in his own time.
Before he knew it Jensen had picked up his coat from the hook by the door and taken himself outside. At first Jared waited, thinking Jensen might just have been visiting the toilet or getting something from the shed, but when some time had passed and he hadn't returned, Jared realised he'd been left to his own devices. He cleaned up the kitchen area as best he could, he fetched more fire wood, tended the garden, he swept out the floor, and then he sat.
He nodded off here and there, but Jared didn't move from his spot, wanting to be right there when Jensen came back. And he hoped that he would come back soon. For all that Jensen was clearly the most capable Were he'd ever met, Jared didn't like him being out there on his own when he might have been going into heat. Jared didn't know a whole lot about such things – his mother had told him that omegas weren't as prominent as they used to be – but he did know that going through a heat alone could be both dangerous and painful. He wanted to help Jensen out in whatever capacity Jensen would allow, he didn't want him to suffer, and after all Jensen had done for him it was only right.
The hours passed slowly and it began to get dark outside, the winter sun passing low beyond the horizon. Jensen returned just after dusk.
"Are you alright?" Jared leapt to his feet.
Jensen refused to look at him, brushing the snowflakes from his coat and hanging it back up on its hook.
"I thought perhaps getting away from your alpha smell and cooling myself down would make a difference. Sadly I was mistaken. I just couldn't stop… I… I mean, maybe that you were in my mind was as much a trigger for me as your smell. I don't know…"
"Just tell me how to help." Jared felt as lost as he had back in the forest, blindly following the phantom Elder into the darkness and stumbling all the while. "I've never even been near to an omega in heat before. The omegas in my pack controlled all these sorts of things with medicines."
"Well, we don't have that luxury. If you want to leave you should do it now," Jensen said with finality.
"Why would I leave?"
"Because if you stay the choice will be taken from you. Once the fever starts to hit me it will affect you as well – that's how it works. It will take full control of our bodies, our instincts will take over, we'll be as good as possessed and completely helpless and you'll…" Jensen swallowed whatever he was going to say and let go his tension with a sigh. "It doesn't matter. Supposedly it will last several days and it'll drain us dry. Then we'll be mated and whatever comes after that."
"Supposedly?"
"I've actually never been through a proper heat before," Jensen admitted, "In my pack you were considered fully grown once you reached your hundreds. Most omegas would still go into heat before that, but I wasn't one of them. When I reached one-forty without a heat or any mating interest, our Alpha decided he'd try to kick-start it on my behalf in the hope that my heat would attract a mate. Obviously I didn't want that, so I insisted I go Questing. I was unwell on the days leading up to it, so I imagine if I'd have stayed I would have had a proper heat. Though, I'll never know for sure."
Jared swallowed and backed away slightly. "Well, if you want me to go, I'll go."
"Do you…" Jensen hesitated, licking his lips nervously, "Do you want to go?"
"No, but—"
"Why not? Why would you want that sort of intimacy with me?"
It suddenly occurred to Jared that Jensen was trying to intimidate him, to scare him off. Just as he'd said, he'd had bad experiences with relation to his heat and mating, and Jared couldn't blame him for not wanting to go through that again. But it wasn't in Jared's nature to be that way, he knew that he would take good care of Jensen. Even when his actions weren't his own, Jared knew that instinctively he would want to protect this omega. His omega.
"Because I want to give you this so that it doesn't have to be a bad thing anymore, so you don't have to fear it. And I can't deny this urge to want to take care of you, in whatever way you'll let me." Jared took a step forward and reached out, taking Jensen's hand into his own. It was the first time they'd touched other than in passing, and it was electric. Sharp and dazzling. Like a light bulb flickering on for the first time. "Don't you feel that? Don't you think we could be good together?"
Jensen stared at their hands clasping together, even squeezing Jared's palm as if he wasn't quite sure what he was feeling was real. "Is this… I don't know what…"
"We're both novices, aren't we? Can't we find our way together? I've travelled all this way for a reason, and I think I realise now that my Questing didn't just bring me here for you to grant me simple answers to simple questions. I think that it brought me to you. Didn't you say we were 'quite a pair'?"
Jensen grinned. "I did say that, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Jared grinned back, "And I think it's true. You've had to wait a long time, I know, but I think we'd be perfect for each other."
"…You're a sap."
"One of my greatest downfalls."
Biting his lower lip, Jensen extracted his hand and dropped smoothly to his knees. His head tilted to the side, waiting for Jared to scent him, and Jared didn't think he'd ever seen another present so beautifully. Jared got to his knees at Jensen's back and pulled their bodies close, shuddering at the sudden warmth pouring off Jensen's skin. He edged his nose in behind Jensen's ear and breathed in the alluring spice, already so much stronger than when he'd first noticed it that morning. And to think, had Jensen not lapsed into the early stages of his heat so quickly, they might never have known. Omega scent was usually so faint that you had to get in close to smell it. It was only when their body was calling out for an alpha that it was unleashed so strongly.
"So delicious," Jared muttered under his breath.
"Don't get too carried away," Jensen admonished, reaching back to grab Jared's hand, "I told you earlier I had things to prepare, and I did. There's a cave not far from here. If we go there we won't have to worry about… damaging anything."
"You've thought about this, then."
"Of course I have. It's not natural for an omega to go so long without a heat. Usually it won't come on if there's no alpha around, but I've heard stories about omegas triggering their own heats after intense dreams or visions. I just—"
"Wanted to be ready, I get it."
And Jared really did. For all that he hadn't found the omegas and betas of his pack attractive, that didn't mean he'd never fantasised about having a partner and a pup of his own. Not to mention the mating – he'd overheard some pretty fantastic stories about how good the sex was between mated couples. He knew the mechanics, of course, and he knew well how good it felt to touch himself, he could only imagine the ecstasy of being inside an omega's body like that.
"Should we go now? Do we need to take anything?"
Jensen nodded, chuckling when his smooth jaw dragged against the four-day growth of Jared's beard. "Just some food, water, and an oil lamp. There's blankets and things there already."
"Let's go then."
It was an effort to pull away from Jensen, but Jared placated himself with thoughts of what was to come. He got to his feet and pulled Jensen up with him, then together they packed as much food as they had on hand, filled two large water skins and readied an oil lamp that Jensen kept stashed away for emergencies. After extinguishing the fire and pulling on their coats – Jared's being the recovered furs from his Questing – they headed out into the cold.
With clouds lingering in the sky there was no moon to light their way, but Jared found that just as they had in the forest two nights ago, his eyes adjusted to the dark perfectly and he was able to follow Jensen without trouble. They trudged through the day-warmed snow and mud, snaking their way through the trees for what must have been an hour at the least, until finally they reached a steep rock wall. They followed along the edge of it, slightly sheltered from the wind, until they came to an opening so small Jared had to drop down on his hands and knees to get inside. Once he'd crawled through, however, he found that the space opened up large enough to allow him to stand completely upright. The main 'room' was larger than the floor space of Jensen's shack and stretched back far into the rock into a sort of hallway that grew more and more narrow.
The cave was already partly lit by a stone-lined fire pit in one corner, and a large pallet of grass and blankets lay on the opposite side. There were boxes and other shelves and bits and pieces all around the place, and Jared decided it felt quite pleasant, as if it were Jensen's second home. And maybe it was.
"It's perfect," Jared said, putting his armful of food and water skins down on one of the wooden boxes and divesting himself of his coat. His broken watch still adorned his wrist, but he decided he'd keep it there for sentimentality's sake.
"It's where I first lived after my Questing until I finished building the shack. Now it's just a back-up."
Jared waited until Jensen had hung the lamp up on a hook and quickly pulled him into his arms. He cupped Jensen's face in one hand and drew their lips together, his stomach flopping about on the inside at the thought that this was his first kiss - their first kiss.
"I've been wanting to do that since I first saw you," Jared said as he pulled back, pressing his thumb into the centre of Jensen's lower lip.
"Why didn't you? Might have saved us two whole days of wasted time."
"Guess I'll just have to find a way to make it up to you."
Grinning, Jared leaned in again, catching Jensen's mouth more deeply the second time. At first it was simply the press of their lips, heads cradled in hands, but then Jared gave it rhythm, sucking and lightly nipping at Jensen's lips and eventually adding his tongue to the mix. He licked into Jensen's mouth and flicked at his tongue, indulging in the taste of him and actively searching for more. There was a sweetness there that made Jared's mouth water with delight, a honey-like tang that had him instantly addicted, and he plundered Jensen's mouth in want of more, needing it more than anything. The craving clouded his mind until it was all he could think about, digging deeper for that singular flavour.
Gasping for air he pulled back, holding Jensen by the shoulders to keep them apart.
"What- what was that? I just… I lost my head for a moment. I couldn't—"
"That was my heat taking you over," Jensen said with an air of caution, his lips kiss-swollen and ripe red, "It's really starting to kick in now since I've been urging it on mentally. It will only get worse from here."
"It's alright," Jared reassured him, taking a steadying breath, "Now I know what it's like I can be prepared. I'm going to take good care of you."
He urged them back towards the pallet and began helping Jensen out of his clothes. His coat, shirt, boots and trousers were all flung to the side without care, and Jensen was down to his underwear when Jared held him still with a hand on his arm. Dotted around his torso were faint lines of varying length and colour – most were thin and silvery-white, others were mottled pink and raised from the skin, but all had thankfully seen the passage of time.
"Jensen… these…"
"Are battle scars. I told you my pack liked to fight, didn't I? I don't know how such things were done in your pack, but for us omegas weren't exempt from the fighting. We had to take part like everyone else."
They made Jared a little sad, but they were a part of Jensen which made them beautiful all the same. With care he laid Jensen down on the blankets and kicked his own clothes off, then pulled Jensen's shorts down and away. Laying their bodies together fully naked for the first time was a revelation, but Jared knew his moment of contentment was to be short-lived. He could feel Jensen's heat teeming off him in waves, and the smell of it was now thick and heady, to the point where he could no longer ignore it.
"It's starting," Jensen said, his eyes looking watery and feverish, his skin flushed pink.
"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to hold back much longer."
"Good. I don't want you to. I've been waiting for this for far too long already."
It was just the sort of approval Jared needed, and he kissed Jensen once more before moving on to his neck, punctuating each inhalation of breath with a quick bite to Jensen's flesh. The flavour was divine on Jared's tongue and he moved swiftly down Jensen's body, licking briefly at his puffy nipples which were inflamed by the heat fever, and then taking his hard cock in hand. It was the first that either of them had paid any attention to their arousal, and Jared delighted in the way Jensen squirmed at the touch, his legs subconsciously pulling up closer to his body and spreading themselves wide, offering himself up to Jared.
And Jared didn't want to keep him waiting any longer, nor himself for that matter. His own cock felt hard enough to hammer nails and his knot was already threatening to pop, such was Jensen's effect on him. He took Jensen in his arms and easily flipped him onto all fours, finally getting a look at his hole for the first time. During his teenage years he'd overheard plenty of conversations between the other males of his pack, talking about how good it felt to stick their dick in an omega hole, how hot and slick and amazing it was. Jared may never have seen one in real life before that moment, but just looking at the little pink ring, all open and shiny with slick, fulfilled every fantasy he'd ever had about it – and he hadn't even gotten himself inside yet.
Jensen's body called to him, begged him onward, and Jared could feel himself slipping into quicksand. The reality struck that Jensen's heat was going to swallow them whole, suffocate them with sex, and there would be no real relief until they came out the other side. But he was ready for it. Hot and dripping and ready. And Jared took hold of his cock, squeezing down at the base to keep his knot at bay, and lined himself up. He took hold of Jensen's hip with his free hand and held him still, though as soon as Jensen felt the tip of his leaking cockhead brush against him he began fighting Jared's hold, his body urging back, desperate to be filled.
"Please, Jared, please, please, just… I can't… just… need it now, please—"
Jensen's voice was muffled by a mouthful of blankets which he was biting down on and his fingers were curled hard into the woollen fabric, knuckles white.
"S'alright now," he hushed, and Jared felt a little like he was suddenly watching from the outside. He could feel every sensation right down to the tip of his toes, yet Jared looked on as if someone else were controlling his actions.
There was no way around it, though. Just as Jensen had warned, the heat was in charge.
Any regrets passed by instantly the moment Jared started to press inside. Jensen's hole gave only the slightest resistance before the head of Jared's cock was sucked inside with a wet 'pop'. He slid in easily after that, Jensen taking the whole of his impressive size with barely a twitch. There was plenty of sound, though, as Jensen moaned continuously into the blankets below, his face now slack with pleasure. And Jared wasn't much different. He managed to take charge enough to force his mouth closed, but there was still a dribble of saliva trickling its way down his chin – no doubt it would stay there until it dried out.
His hips withdrew slowly, then Jared was slamming back into Jensen's ass with fervour, their flesh slapping loudly with the force of the thrust. It continued that way, with Jared pounding Jensen almost viciously into the mattress, long enough that Jared managed to lose track of himself completely for a time. His awareness only returned when his knot had finally swelled enough to catch on the rim of Jensen's hole and he only managed another one, two thrusts before they were tied, Jensen's body instinctively clamping down around him, ready to milk him dry.
Jared came with a roar, his consciousness suddenly thrown back into his body, and he collapsed down on top of Jensen, shaking and limp and sweaty from the intense exertion. He rolled himself onto his side taking Jensen with him, wrapping his arms tightly around the omega's waist. Jensen wriggled from the change in position and Jared slid a hand down over his stomach to take hold of Jensen's cock, now soft and sticky with his own release.
"Jensen?"
"Mm?" The reply was barely audible.
"You're amazing."
"Mm. Y'r not s'bad. Didn' even need a hand."
With a grin, Jared gave his new mate's cock a playful squeeze before letting it go.
They laid there in silence, just breathing, until Jared was able to slip free of Jensen's ass. But barely five minutes passed before Jensen's fever began to spike again, and Jared buried his face in the back of his neck, his teeth pressing into the skin, eager to bite.
"How much longer?" he asked, already worn out but knowing they were far from the finish line.
Jensen laughed knowingly. "As long as it takes."
_.~*^*~._
Jared had just fitted the last plank of woof onto the shack's extension when he heard a familiar rustling through the trees.
He put his tools down and turned around just in time to see a large green-eyed wolf emerge from the forest, a young pup dangling from its mouth by the scruff of its neck. The mere sight had his heart near exploding with joy in his chest, just like it did every time he set eyes on them, and he would swear that the feeling never waned in the slightest.
Moments later there was a two year-old waddling over to him and Jared scooped her up in his arms, swinging her around. He would never forget the stunning clarity that had struck him back in the cave that day, another forty-eight hours after their first mating. They'd woken curled up on the blankets together, exhausted beyond belief, caked in old sweat and dried come, and it had hit Jared like a lightning bolt out of the blue.
Jensen had told him 'as long as it takes', but it hadn't registered until that moment that he'd meant 'as long as it takes to get me pregnant'.
After that Jared hadn't been able to stop touching Jensen, putting his hand on his stomach, scenting him to see if his smell had changed. It got ridiculous to the point of annoyance, and Jensen had had to slap him away more than a few times. But things had progressed beautifully all the same, and not much later they'd ended up with a third mouth to feed. Life was blissful, if exhausting, and they'd lived in the cave to start with until they figured out what to do with the shack. Two years later and they were still working on it – time had a habit of getting away from them – but they knew it would be worth it in the end.
Looking up from the adorable little girl in his arms, Jared was met with the most heart-stopping sight of all – Jensen, naked in all his glory, staring at the two of them like they'd hung the moon.
He reached out for Jensen's hand, but Jensen grinned and stepped away.
"Gotta catch me first."
Jensen shifted in three seconds flat and took off at a run, leaving Jared staring after him in shock. When he didn't move he got a giggle and a poke in the arm, and hurriedly he set his daughter down on a wooden bench by the vegetable patch and threw his clothes off in a rush. He centred himself just as Jensen had taught him, calling to the wolf inside him, and moments later he was cloaked in deep brown fur and standing on four very agile limbs.
To the cheers of his little girl he dashed off after Jensen, darting through the trees at top speed. He was going to catch his mate. Boy, was he ever. And he was going to pin him to the ground and nuzzle him until Jensen couldn't take it anymore and took Jared's throat between his teeth.
They had gone through another heat several months after Jensen had given birth, but the fever had burnt itself out after only two days and no conception was made. They decided it was for the best, however, and concentrated their efforts on their infant, which took up the majority of their time as it was. But Jensen would comment every now and again that he could feel the stirrings of another heat just below the surface, and sometimes Jared even thought he could smell it, though he didn't know whether or not he was just imagining things.
One thing Jared did know for sure was that there would be another pup on the way sooner or later. He and Jensen both dreamed about it, dreams which had the air of the spirits about them. The two of them were more compatible than they could ever have imagined during those first days after Jared's Questing, so perhaps it was the will of the ancestors that they start a pack of their own and teach them the ways of old.
That would be mostly Jensen's department, though. As for Jared, he was content to stick to the more practical side of things. No doubt there would be need of even more extensions to the shack in the not too distant future.
Pairing: J2
Rating: nc-17
Warnings: ABO AU, vague mpreg!Jensen, lonely!J2, old but not old!Jensen, angst, schmoop, fantasy/mythological themes
Word count: 10.3k
Summary: Jared has never fit in with his pack, so he goes on a journey guided by the first moon of the New Year and the spirits of old, hoping to find all that his soul searches for.
A/N: Written for
morrezela for the mpreg_xmas_xchg exchange! I went with your 'lonely creature who's never been mated' prompt and while I could have had this up earlier I decided to take my time and flesh it out properly. Also, I was inspired by an ipad game called 'Year Walk' which I played recently, although my fic isn't nearly as creepy! Anyway, I hope you enjoy~EDIT: also on AO3
It was on the stroke of midnight when Jared pulled the door open and stepped out into the cold. And hesitated.
How had he gotten himself in this position? He'd been asking himself the same question for several days already. And supposedly he was simply to toddle out into the snow, out into the woods for a bit, wander around and hey, presto! He'd find all the answers his soul was searching for. At least, that was the theory.
He still was unsure what exactly it was that had made him announce he wanted to go Questing – or Fate Questing, as it was properly known. It was an ancient practice, and not one people employed much in present times. In fact, Jared had been about sixteen or seventeen the last time he remembered hearing of someone going through the ritual, and the man's decayed body had been found in the woods several months later, likely having died of exposure to the cold.
But for Jared, for all his subsequent uncertainties, somewhere deep down he sensed this was his way out, one way or another, whatever the end may bring. He was twenty-five now, and all but an outcast amongst his own. He was taller and broader than all the other males in his pack – including the alpha, which often brought him the wrong sort of attention – his eyes weren't of the common brown but instead were somewhere between hazel and amber, and despite that a handful of omegas and female betas had presented to him over the years, not once had he ever felt the least bit attracted to anyone from his pack. Or from outside his pack, for that matter. Twenty-five and unmated was a shameful position to be in, and it was one of the pack's worst-kept secrets that the majority suspected his mother had conceived him by a male that wasn't his father. To them it was the only explanation that made any sense.
Most Weres still lived in packs like Jared's, though generally they were more urban-minded and thus lived closer to the human cities. Jared's pack, while small groups did travel to the cities every now and then, lived much further out from civilisation. Few remaining packs kept to themselves and adhered to the old traditions in the way they did. Although, that had begun to change with Jared's generation. Those his age were far more eager to visit the cities and spend whatever human money they had saved on unnecessary trinkets – jewellery, fancy clothes, electronic gadgets and the like. Jared had a watch from his second trip to the city when he was twenty, back when his father had been ill and in need of human medicine, but that was the extent of his acquisitions. Perhaps if he'd been more interested like his peers, he would simply have packed a bag and moved to the city to live instead of taking on a millennia-old tradition that could yet see him dead.
But that would be a betrayal of his heart. And if Jared prided himself on being one thing above all others, it was honest.
Jared urged himself on from where he'd dallied on the doorstep, moving forth into the field outside. He wore an outfit made completely of pelt and hide, including his boots. It was warm enough for now, but once it was dampened from all the snow and crusted in ice crystals he wasn't so sure if he'd feel the same way. His body ran hot, sure - that was true of most Weres - but he was tired and hungry and it would be a challenge to keep up his usual energy levels.
The whole thing was a gamble, that was half the point of it, and Jared knew he was already running on half-power. Part of the ritual had required that he spend three days in a lightless, fireless cabin, and then the last twenty-four hours he had also to go without food or any contact with the outside world. Jared had spent most of the time sleeping, probably even too much, but then again his meals had been little more than bread, water and some dried meat – barely enough to keep his strength up.
He'd kept to the rules, though, determined to see it through where many had expected him to fail. Many of the males he'd grown up with had laughed at him, some taunting him about having a death wish, his mother had been hysterical and promised him all manner of things if only he'd change his mind. The only ones who'd taken him seriously were the pack Elders. Julian was somewhere in the realm of two hundred years old (no one knew for certain), and of a different breed than the younger wolves around him. Jared had gone to see him with Alpha Jeff at his back, and Julian had looked at him in a way no one else had ever done before. Jared had felt exposed standing before him, and yet Julian had understood, seen something inside him that was begging to get out. It was only by the Elder's acknowledgement that everyone actually started to respect his decision.
And so there he was, trudging through the snow at midnight under the New Year's moon. Its blue glow guided him through the deserted field and up the hill to the pack cemetery, casting an eerie light over the simple rock-covered graves. He passed them by as he'd been told to do, only stopping when he came to the entrance of the single tomb there, the one that housed the remains of his ancestors, the ones that had first established the pack lands here in these woods.
He entered the dark tomb and knelt before the large, wooden wolf statue that held pride of place. He took a small blade from the sheath strapped to his thigh and made a small cut on his thumb, then pressed it to the side of the statue where he could just make out a brownish stain – no doubt where those who had gone before him had done the same.
Jared called out to the spirits of his ancestors and asked them for their guidance, their protection on his Questing. His mind turned to what he was leaving behind, and he thought about the other males who would be just as likely to scoff at the thought of appealing to long dead animal spirits, their disregard for the old ways not hardly a secret. He thought as well of the small handful of females and omegas that had presented themselves to him as potential mates, and his reluctance, then eventual disgust at having to politely scent them before telling them that he wasn't interested. He thought of the stories he'd been told of the 'old days', of their ancestors, when Weres walked the earth in their wolf forms as often as in their humanoid ones, when the human race still either feared them or worshipped them or both. He thought of the conversation he'd had once with Alpha Jeff when he'd asked why those females and omegas smelled so repulsive to him, and Jeff's response that once upon a time Weres had been born with only one True Mate in their heart and could go decades, even centuries while they searched for that single person who could fulfil their bond.
He thought that perhaps his mother hadn't really stepped out on his father like people said, that perhaps he'd simply been born to the right people in the wrong century.
A hunger pang spiked through Jared's gut – at least, that's what he supposed it was – and he was shocked out of his thoughts, his bloody thumb pulling away from the statue. He stood shakily and retreated outside into the light of the moon, following the path through the cemetery that brought him to the edge of the forest.
He paused. And sniffed. And blinked.
All his senses seemed strangely sharp suddenly and the stars above were unnaturally bright. Glancing down at his watch he noticed that half an hour had passed already, except… somehow his watch had stopped. It chilled him a little to think that he'd had it for going on six years, had never even needed to change the battery, and then it chose that night of all nights to stop working.
Shrugging and shaking the chill away he walked onward, into the unknown journey beyond.
There was a path at first, leading him in straight, and then turning and winding around and around until it eventually turned on itself like a snake eating its tail, leaving Jared to make his own path. The trees became denser the deeper Jared went, the moon's light only filtering down every now and then, fingers reaching down through the treetops. His eyes never failed him, however. It might have been dark to the point of oppression but Jared could somehow still make out the subtlest of details along his trail – an owl perched silently on an icy branch, a tree root breaching the snow-dampened earth just high enough to trip him up. His hunger pangs would flare every now and again, slowing his progress, but he felt there was too much at stake and he brushed them aside each time.
There was no telling how long he travelled before he started to see them.
Things. Visions. Whatever they were.
At first he supposed the most logical thing – that the days of no fire, little food, and enforced solitude were getting to him. That he was being paranoid and making up things that weren't there. Keeping himself company, his mind occupied. Anything to make sense of this ridiculous position he'd put himself into.
But that was part of the deal, wasn't it? Was he not out there in the freezing conditions searching for some manner of supernatural sign? Something that would cut across his sky like a shooting star and then some great purpose would reveal itself?
Jared decided that he wouldn’t find his answers in this state, that if he was already too fearful of it, how could he possibly accept his fate when he was suddenly face-to-face with it?
With that thought he carried on with a new resolve, pointedly looking at those shadows that flitted in and out of his periphery, facing them head-on.
It amounted to nothing at first, merely leaves or branches which had become caught up in channels of wind flowing down through the treetops. That placated him for some time, until the lights appeared, that is. Tiny little pinhead-sized lights that flickered like the stars he could no longer see above him. He tried endlessly to get close enough, just to see – were they insects of some sort, like small fireflies? They were mocking him, whatever they were, because as soon as he drew near they would either back away out of reach or wink out entirely. He chased after them nonetheless, following them like twinkling breadcrumbs, deeper into the forest and further and further away from his home.
They teased him relentlessly, and he feared he may never be able to stop such was the force that lured him after them. But then he saw it.
That face.
Those eyes.
They were the eyes of Elder Julian embedded into the face and body of a man as young as Jared. And yet, there was no mistaking that it was Julian himself, or some sort of spectre of him, some sort of projection from Jared's mind perhaps. He couldn't look away from the phantom Elder standing amongst the trees in the distance, clear as day, but Jared realised he'd finally stopped running. He was \ panting, though, and he could feel that his limbs were trembling with exhaustion even if his head hadn't quite caught up with the fact.
And still Julian held his utmost attention. The pale form staring at him, never blinking.
Jared crept forward warily, as if he were stalking a small animal, and he was thrilled to find that the phantom stayed as he was, still as a statue. It took a long time for Jared to get close – close enough to see the polished fingernails and the fine details of the strange suit he wore – and then the young Elder looked at him, through him, beckoning him forth with those well-kept hands.
He followed like a puppy on a leash, eager for whatever reward lay ahead. The Elder never slowed from his considerable pace, and Jared struggled at times to keep up, occasionally lagging behind and becoming more aware of the life blooming around him. Bird calls and the snarls of predators, twigs snapping underfoot – never mind that it was still black as pitch with no sign of the impending dawn.
One sound did catch his ears in particular, though. There was no mistaking the low howl of a wolf. It appeared only once, twice, and then it was gone. But Jared knew what he'd heard and it didn't strike him as a coincidence.
Julian led him downhill and suddenly his hunger pangs rose up with a vengeance, nearly bringing him to his knees. He scrambled onward best he could, but was thankful when the Elder finally came to a stop, revealing a small lake hidden amongst the trees, its surface hardened into a single, smooth sheet of ice. Jared only had to blink and immediately a second apparition appeared, this time in the shape of a young boy standing on the edge of the icy lake. He looked much like the boy Chad, who'd gone missing from the pack going on ten years ago and who had turned up dead about a week later. Alpha Jeff had informed everyone that he'd drowned in the nearby river, but this ghost – or whatever he was – didn't look like he'd drowned. Certainly he looked sallow and lifeless, but there was something off about his features, almost to the point where he didn't look human anymore. His eyes were a sickly yellow colour, and his teeth were pointed and too big for his mouth. His fingernails were also sharp-tipped and much longer than normal.
Jared folded to the ground in pain, the pangs that had previously been concentrated in his stomach suddenly shooting out into his limbs, pulling him down onto all fours.
"Come, Jared," Elder Julian implored from above, making no move to help him, "Embrace your destiny."
A scream rose up in his throat as Jared struggled to remain conscious of his surroundings.
He forced his head back up, only to find the boy and Elder Julian both gone, and he wailed in despair, knowing that he was on his own from here on.
Except… A sound.
He held himself still until he heard it again. The crinkling of leaves and twigs underfoot.
Something was watching him, coming closer. And Jared had no way to protect himself. It was beginning to feel as if his fate was simply to die.
The presence continued to move nearer, circling around the side of the lake, prowling. Jared tried to catch a glimpse, but whenever he managed to hold his head up long enough for his eyes to focus, all he could make out was dark and shadow and more dark.
A torrent of agony washed through him without warning, and Jared found himself writhing uncontrollably over the cold, slushy ground, his furs now heavy with caked mud. He felt as though he'd been stepped on, like every bone inside him had been crushed, and there was no way he was ever moving from that spot. If his pack ever ventured out that far into the woods they would find his body broken and decayed, just like what had happened to the last Were who'd dared go Questing.
There came the snapping of a twig from barely a few yards behind him and Jared couldn't help but fear the worst. His heart raced in his chest, his mind clouding over with terror. And then there was nothing.
_.~*^*~._
Jared sat up with a start, his breath coming in short pants.
It took a few moments for him to gather his thoughts and for the memories of his Questing to filter through, unbelievable though they were. It read like something out of a fairy story, the type of tales you told children to keep them from being reckless and disobedient, except that his story was real. Or, at least, he supposed it was.
Now he was on some kind of pallet on the floor, wearing only the soft cotton shorts and singlet he'd worn under his furs, and he looked down at his bare limbs, expecting to find some sort of physical damage. But there was none. He was as whole as he'd been when he started his journey, nothing ached but for his empty stomach and his skin was almost pristine but for the dirt under his fingernails.
Jared shook his head in disbelief and took a look around him. He was in some sort of wooden shack in what appeared to be the bedroom, though the room itself was barely big enough to fit the pallet along with the small chest and shelf pushed against the far wall. There was a small window placed up high which let the daylight in from outside, and the walls were bare but for a small animal skin, some feathers, and a bunch of dried flowers that hung above the bed.
The sound of someone clearing their throat had Jared nearly hitting the ceiling, and he whipped his head around to find the presence of another male in the doorway, his eyes green as a willow tree and his expression carefully blank. He was tall, though not as tall as Jared, slim but well-muscled, and there was an almost... haunting air about him, if strangely alluring at the same time. He stood so still Jared wondered if he was even breathing, and it reminded him, oddly enough, of Elder Julian.
"I see you're up. Feeling alright now?"
Jared nodded, then clenched his fists against the blanket he still sat on. Physically he couldn't have been much better. But mentally - that was another story.
"Fine. Although I have to wonder if there was anything wrong with me in the first place."
That got a faint smile curling the corner of the Were's lips - and there was no doubt he was a Were. Jared had always had a knack for distinguishing his own kind from humans, though the differences were becoming more subtle by the year.
"Indeed, perhaps not. Or nothing a good meal and a little more rest can't fix."
Jared had to raise an eyebrow in question – the male seemed to think his ordeal amusing.
"And what would you know?"
"You've been Questing, am I right? It's been many years, but I once went on a Fate Quest of my own. I still remember it quite clearly."
"Did you… see visions, too?"
The Were grimaced, a shadow passing through his eyes. "Of a sort. But everyone reacts differently to the drug."
"Drug?" Jared's brows must have hit his hairline. "What are you talking about?"
"You haven't figured it out? Questing is an old tradition, so I can't imagine they'd have changed much of the ritual, but you had to cut your hand, yes?"
Jared nodded and held up his scabbed thumb, floored by what he was being told.
"One of your elders will have rubbed the leaves of a hallucinogenic plant on the statue of your ancestor. When you press the open wound to it, enough of the plant material enters your body in order to drug you, just mildly."
"So, basically I've been tricked and the whole thing was some delusion I made up in my mind?"
"No, not at all!"
The Were was clearly upset by his conclusion.
"Questing takes you on a true spiritual journey guided by your ancestors, that is without question. But many who take on the Quest are already lost in some way, their mind is closed to the answers they seek, so the effect of the plant enables them to open their eyes enough to see what they need to see. It clears your mind rather than clouds it, so you can be sure that everything you experienced was at the insistence of the spirits."
"You sound like you know a lot about it."
"As it is, I've had a lot of time to think it over… Besides, I don't get much in the way of visitors out here and most of my pack would be long gone by now. Meditation and communing with the spirits has become something of a past time of mine."
Jared snorted. Meditation and communion? It sounded like something his grandmother would say. But how old could this male possibly be? His skin was fair and lightly freckled, without a wrinkle in sight. His hands were slightly worn from working, but no more than Jared's own, and he certainly didn't seem sick or mentally afflicted in any way. "You barely look older than me and yet you talk like you're ancient. Maybe I should call you Elder?"
"Maybe you should, since you speak like you're a child."
Jared knew how juvenile he must have appeared, yet he stood to his full height and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm a full twenty-five years and a grown man, thanks very much. If my family had their way I'd be mated and a father by now, so that hardly makes me a child."
He waited for some witty retort but nothing came, and he looked up to see the other Were suddenly looking pale to the point of passing out.
"Hey, are you alri—?"
"You're twenty-five and already an adult? Spirits above, what year is it?"
"Ugh… two thousand thirteen?"
All the air went out of the Were and he slouched against the door frame, pressing a hand to his temple. Jared wondered if he should be helping him in some way, but since he gave no sign of wanting any Jared simply stayed put, watching the conflicting emotions passing over his face. And not that he looked ancient, but Jared could definitely see an air of age about the Were then, something deep-set in his eyes and face that - yet again - was reminiscent of Elder Julian.
"You called yourself a grown man. You are a Were though, yes?"
"Of course. Just a figure of speech."
"When I found you back at the lake… it did not look natural. How often do you shift?"
Jared's lips twisted in confusion. "Uh, shift?"
"You don't—?" The male heaved a defeated sigh, looking like the weight of the world was bearing down on him. "It seems things have changed more than I could've imagined. But I suppose it's my own fault for living the way I do, shutting out all contact with the packs… Please, tell me your name and what pack you're from?"
"Fine, but turnabout is fair play, you know? I'm Jared, my Alpha is Jeff Morgan. I'm from the Silverash pack lands."
The male nodded as if in agreement. "Yes, I remember Silverash. Who's your High Elder?"
"Julian," Jared said grudgingly, wanting some answers of his own, "Supposedly he's two-hundred-and-something but no one knows for sure."
"Ah, yes, I think I met him once… And I think you'll find he's older than what he says. As for me, I'm Jensen, from the Birchwood pack lands. And going by the year, I'm now a little way past five-hundred."
Jared's jaw met the ground so hard he wondered if it made a thud. "Five… Five hundred years? How is that even—?"
"I assure it you it was quite normal among my pack. We were expected to live three millennia or more, though most would end up killed in combat before they ever lived that long. It's been hundreds of years since I was with them so who knows if they're still around or not – fighting was a daily occurrence where I came from, so I wouldn't be surprised if they all bit each other to death."
"That's insane," Jared said, half to himself.
"A little," Jensen agreed, "I should add that my pack did live a bit longer than most. We were the direct descendants of Fenrir, the wolf demi-god, so our blood lines ran strong. The tallest, strongest, most enduring of Weres on the continent, or so our Alpha maintained."
"Wouldn't dare debate it," Jared offered, almost tired of hearing all the revelatory things that Jensen had to say. Curious, he sniffed the air a moment. "And you're definitely tall for an omega."
Jensen looked interested at that. "You can smell me from this distance?"
"Well, no, but I can't smell alpha so I just figured…"
Nodding, Jensen had that defeated look again. "Part of why I left was that I was too small by my pack's standards. I'm more beta-sized, while omegas were expected to be about your size and alphas were bigger again. A bigger omega means they're more likely to have bigger, healthier pups, so I'm sure you can fill in the blanks."
Jared could have laughed. "I left because I had the opposite problem. I was always called 'freak' because of my eye colour and because I was so much bigger than everyone else. Elder Julian was always the tallest one around when I was growing up, and then I bested him by several inches."
"We're quite a pair, then." Jensen beckoned him with a brief wave of his hand. "Let's get you fed."
_.~*^*~._
Jared sat on a wooden crate acting as a makeshift chair, spooning himself mouthfuls of the meat and potato stew Jensen had prepared. As he'd quickly discovered upon leaving the bedroom, the shack was literally two rooms and a roof. The second room was thankfully a little bigger than the bedroom and acted as a kitchen, living room, dining room, all rolled into one. Everything was rudimentary at best. There was barely enough room for them both to sit and barely enough utensils for them both to enjoy the stew, but as Jensen defensively pointed out it suited his lifestyle just fine. Jared couldn't argue with that – it was functional and cosy, and he'd probably be quite happy to have something similar for himself.
A fireplace and chimney were situated in the corner, encased in stone and clay, which kept the whole place toasty warm as well as serving as the cooking area. A window was cut into one wall similarly to the bedroom, but it was boarded up for the winter. Jared, however, had taken a quick look outside when he'd first gotten up to follow Jensen, only to find two more basic wooden structures – one was a shed for tools and firewood with a vegetable garden on the side, the other was the outhouse – but the rest of the view was snow-covered forest as far as the eye could see. Jared had spent most of his young life debating the problems of his own pack living in such a remote area, but Jensen really took the cake when it came to isolation. He really had to wonder about Jensen's quality of life after living like that for so many years.
He'd been told he could ask more questions after they'd eaten, so Jared had taken his time in both the eating and thinking stakes, trying to make sense of what it meant that his Questing had ended there, and then what that meant for the rest of his life. He'd never had any intention of ever returning to his pack lands, even if that meant he'd ended up dead, but then again he'd never expected to end up in a tiny little shack in the middle of nowhere either, holed up with the most attractive - if perpetually serious - omega he'd ever set eyes on, who also happened to be a descendant of a wolf god and over half a century old.
Life was a strange and fickle thing.
"Jensen," Jared began tentatively, putting his spoon down, "Will you tell me… What was happening to me when you found me in the forest?"
"You were shifting." Straight to the point and not one iota of inflection.
"Shifting what?"
"Shifting into you wolf form," Jensen said acidly, swallowing his own mouthful of stew, "I can't believe no one shifts anymore. What kind of Were can't shift? It's unfathomable to me! But regardless… you were going through a first shift. The first few tries are always particularly painful and rarely complete."
Jared hesitated, sensing Jensen's fluctuating mood. It was the most animated he'd been so far, but Jared wasn't sure what to make of it. "What do you mean, rarely complete?"
"As in, the first shift usually only involves your teeth, your nails, some of your hair… maybe you'll get a tail or your eyes will change. You, Jared, had actually started developing your wolf shape when I found you, which doesn't generally happen on a first shift, but then again you're much older than you should be - comparatively. It can be very painful, like I said, and some don't survive it."
Something twigged for Jared then, and he was finally able to let go of that haunting image from his Questing. It had confused him at the time, but the image of the boy, and then phantom-Julian's words, made a whole lot more sense to him now. Somehow, someway, that thought he'd had back in the ancestor's tomb possibly wasn't too far off – it was definitely sounding like he wasn't the freak he'd always he was, he was simply an anomaly of the time. If he'd been born several hundred years early he probably would have fit right in.
"I don't know why no one shifts anymore. As a child I was told stories about Weres from the past who changed into wolves, but we all assumed they were just that – kid's stories. I know Weres have traits that are like a wolf's, but… well, you know… evolution and all that."
"Your Elder should have known. If it's the same Julian as I knew then he was once able to shift. He should have taught you all. He has a responsibility to those under his charge."
"Then he must have forgotten or something. I never heard a thing about him being able to shift."
"It's criminal, is what it is... But he can't have been the only Elder that conveniently 'forgot'. It's just not possible that he's the only one remaining who's of that age."
Jared pondered that thought for a moment, and something suddenly occurred to him.
"You know, when I was at school, I didn't pay much attention during history lessons but I remember there was a long period where there were ongoing pack wars. I don't know where it happened but thousands were killed, and the only way it stopped was that the remaining Alphas got together and came to some sort of truce."
Jensen tapped his chin in thought. "I see what you're getting at, and that's definitely an explanation which would make sense. Alphas can become ten times more aggressive in their wolf form and five times as strong, so it's not unreasonable to think that they put some sort of ban on shifting. Perhaps they even used locks of some kind - a bracelet or necklace of silver can prevent most from shifting. I can't imagine that they could have predicted the outcome, however."
"Yeah, that they'd forget how to do it altogether."
"Not to mention the physiological and societal changes."
"And now the younger the generation, the more they want to live like humans."
Jensen smirked. "Now that would have rubbed the alphas-of-old the wrong way, without a doubt." He stood and collected their empty bowls, taking them to a nearby basin to wash them clean. "And then there are the anomalies like ourselves, who don't seem to fit anywhere… Although…"
Turning, Jared found himself faced with Jensen's back, bent over the basin. And it called to him. It was enough that Jared had gotten half a smile out of Jensen, but being faced with the perfect shape of his body, and from that angle... "Although?"
"I've been thinking. Mostly about your eye colour. It's quite distinctive and—" Jensen cleared his throat, "The descendants of the great wolf Amarok had similar colouring, if I recall correctly. Amarok was long before my time, but the story goes that he was the largest wolf who ever lived, and a beast of a man. His pack were known for being vicious fighters and they lived and hunted in much smaller groups so as to keep the aggression between them at a minimum. It's possible that one of your parents is a descendant and passed the Amarok characteristics on to you."
For all Jared knew, Jensen's words were nothing more than a story, but he decided that he'd take it and run with it all the same. The thought that there was a reason he was the way he was, that there was history and purpose behind it, warmed him in a way nothing else ever had.
The remainder of the day was spent chatting with an ease unfamiliar to Jared, and likely just as unfamiliar to Jensen considering his solitary life. They discussed everything from the way pack law had changed, to their experiences with human society, and so many things in between. Jensen had even promised him that he would teach Jared how to shift properly and would help him through the discomfort of the first few transitions.
Jared could scarcely believe that his Questing had brought him to a conclusion of such worth, both with a Were with a fount of old knowledge, and an omega whose enigmatic eyes and half-smiles made his heart flutter within his chest – a feeling he'd heard about so many times, but had never before experienced it for himself.
Jared was put to bed on a stomach full of boiled vegetables and salted meat, and he dared not dream. A dream could never compare to the reality.
_.~*^*~._
When Jared woke it was to the smell of more well-cooked meat.
The other side of the pallet had not been slept in, and unless Jensen had somehow managed to squeeze onto the floor by the fire, Jared had to wonder if the other Were had slept at all.
He put on the hide breeches and boots which Jensen had salvaged from back in the forest and were now both clean and dry, and entered the other room to find Jensen skilfully cutting up the remains of a fresh kill. Jared had no idea what time of the day it was, but Jensen had already been out hunting and had returned with some sort of large bird, which was now plucked and in the process of being chopped and roasted. He was productive, Jared had to give him that.
"Did you sleep?"
Jensen looked away from his task only briefly. "No, but I can go up to three days without it. I don't mind, but if you intend to stay we will have to discuss arrangements."
Fair's fair.
Taking a seat on the crate, Jared watched as Jensen worked, checking the meat and fetching more firewood when he was asked. He hadn't really had time to think it through yet, but he did know that he wasn't ready to leave this place. There was so much more to know of Jensen, more questions to ask and skills to learn – shifting included. Jensen had made a promise about that one, after all. And Jared wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty, either. He would be an eager student if Jensen was willing to show him more about this way of life. Although Jared supposed the way in which he'd grown up wasn't all that far removed, except for the fact Alpha Jeff had shotguns and a shiny blue car, and there was basic electricity in most houses. Some of his peers had had those handheld telephones, too, though Jared had no idea how they worked. He'd often heard them complaining about having 'no reception', but whenever he'd asked what they meant they'd simply scoffed and walked away.
The mess of the game had been cleared away and they were just sitting down to eat when Jared noticed it.
It was just the hint of something on the air, very slightly sweet but it smelled more robust than sugar or honey. Jared followed it with his nose – which seemed more keen since his Questing – and could only come to the conclusion that it wasn't something in Jensen's cooking, but Jensen himself.
"What's the matter?"
"You smell different," Jared said with interest, "Sort of… spicy, or something."
"…Oh."
Jensen looked immediately miserable and refused to look up from the floor.
"That's a bad thing?" Jared questioned.
"It means…" Jensen pushed his plate away and wrapped his arms over his chest as if he were cold. "It means that I'm possibly on the verge of going into heat. I should have expected it, perhaps. I haven't been around another alpha in around four hundred years, so it makes sense that my body would react in some way. Although, that was another reason why I left my pack. The thought of mating or going into heat terrified me, not that anyone really wanted to mate me…"
"Then they were fools," Jared said under his breath.
If Jensen heard him then he ignored it, and went about eating his meal in such a way that he couldn't possibly have had time to enjoy it. Once he finished he moved to the basin to clean his plate and utensils.
"I'll have to prepare things in case."
Jared didn't dare to ask. Jensen's movements became frantic and his hands were clearly shaking, so it was obvious the whole idea of heats was very much a sore spot for him. It crushed Jared's heart a little, to think that Jensen had been hurt enough by his pack to send him running. Though, that was near exactly what he'd done himself, wasn't it? He'd stood out too much amongst his peers and eventually it had proven more than he could take. He wanted to mate someone that actually liked him and didn't just present themselves because he was available or because their parents had told them to. He imagined it must have been similar for Jensen, though that was not a question he would ever allow to pass his lips. Perhaps he would tell Jared in his own time.
Before he knew it Jensen had picked up his coat from the hook by the door and taken himself outside. At first Jared waited, thinking Jensen might just have been visiting the toilet or getting something from the shed, but when some time had passed and he hadn't returned, Jared realised he'd been left to his own devices. He cleaned up the kitchen area as best he could, he fetched more fire wood, tended the garden, he swept out the floor, and then he sat.
He nodded off here and there, but Jared didn't move from his spot, wanting to be right there when Jensen came back. And he hoped that he would come back soon. For all that Jensen was clearly the most capable Were he'd ever met, Jared didn't like him being out there on his own when he might have been going into heat. Jared didn't know a whole lot about such things – his mother had told him that omegas weren't as prominent as they used to be – but he did know that going through a heat alone could be both dangerous and painful. He wanted to help Jensen out in whatever capacity Jensen would allow, he didn't want him to suffer, and after all Jensen had done for him it was only right.
The hours passed slowly and it began to get dark outside, the winter sun passing low beyond the horizon. Jensen returned just after dusk.
"Are you alright?" Jared leapt to his feet.
Jensen refused to look at him, brushing the snowflakes from his coat and hanging it back up on its hook.
"I thought perhaps getting away from your alpha smell and cooling myself down would make a difference. Sadly I was mistaken. I just couldn't stop… I… I mean, maybe that you were in my mind was as much a trigger for me as your smell. I don't know…"
"Just tell me how to help." Jared felt as lost as he had back in the forest, blindly following the phantom Elder into the darkness and stumbling all the while. "I've never even been near to an omega in heat before. The omegas in my pack controlled all these sorts of things with medicines."
"Well, we don't have that luxury. If you want to leave you should do it now," Jensen said with finality.
"Why would I leave?"
"Because if you stay the choice will be taken from you. Once the fever starts to hit me it will affect you as well – that's how it works. It will take full control of our bodies, our instincts will take over, we'll be as good as possessed and completely helpless and you'll…" Jensen swallowed whatever he was going to say and let go his tension with a sigh. "It doesn't matter. Supposedly it will last several days and it'll drain us dry. Then we'll be mated and whatever comes after that."
"Supposedly?"
"I've actually never been through a proper heat before," Jensen admitted, "In my pack you were considered fully grown once you reached your hundreds. Most omegas would still go into heat before that, but I wasn't one of them. When I reached one-forty without a heat or any mating interest, our Alpha decided he'd try to kick-start it on my behalf in the hope that my heat would attract a mate. Obviously I didn't want that, so I insisted I go Questing. I was unwell on the days leading up to it, so I imagine if I'd have stayed I would have had a proper heat. Though, I'll never know for sure."
Jared swallowed and backed away slightly. "Well, if you want me to go, I'll go."
"Do you…" Jensen hesitated, licking his lips nervously, "Do you want to go?"
"No, but—"
"Why not? Why would you want that sort of intimacy with me?"
It suddenly occurred to Jared that Jensen was trying to intimidate him, to scare him off. Just as he'd said, he'd had bad experiences with relation to his heat and mating, and Jared couldn't blame him for not wanting to go through that again. But it wasn't in Jared's nature to be that way, he knew that he would take good care of Jensen. Even when his actions weren't his own, Jared knew that instinctively he would want to protect this omega. His omega.
"Because I want to give you this so that it doesn't have to be a bad thing anymore, so you don't have to fear it. And I can't deny this urge to want to take care of you, in whatever way you'll let me." Jared took a step forward and reached out, taking Jensen's hand into his own. It was the first time they'd touched other than in passing, and it was electric. Sharp and dazzling. Like a light bulb flickering on for the first time. "Don't you feel that? Don't you think we could be good together?"
Jensen stared at their hands clasping together, even squeezing Jared's palm as if he wasn't quite sure what he was feeling was real. "Is this… I don't know what…"
"We're both novices, aren't we? Can't we find our way together? I've travelled all this way for a reason, and I think I realise now that my Questing didn't just bring me here for you to grant me simple answers to simple questions. I think that it brought me to you. Didn't you say we were 'quite a pair'?"
Jensen grinned. "I did say that, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Jared grinned back, "And I think it's true. You've had to wait a long time, I know, but I think we'd be perfect for each other."
"…You're a sap."
"One of my greatest downfalls."
Biting his lower lip, Jensen extracted his hand and dropped smoothly to his knees. His head tilted to the side, waiting for Jared to scent him, and Jared didn't think he'd ever seen another present so beautifully. Jared got to his knees at Jensen's back and pulled their bodies close, shuddering at the sudden warmth pouring off Jensen's skin. He edged his nose in behind Jensen's ear and breathed in the alluring spice, already so much stronger than when he'd first noticed it that morning. And to think, had Jensen not lapsed into the early stages of his heat so quickly, they might never have known. Omega scent was usually so faint that you had to get in close to smell it. It was only when their body was calling out for an alpha that it was unleashed so strongly.
"So delicious," Jared muttered under his breath.
"Don't get too carried away," Jensen admonished, reaching back to grab Jared's hand, "I told you earlier I had things to prepare, and I did. There's a cave not far from here. If we go there we won't have to worry about… damaging anything."
"You've thought about this, then."
"Of course I have. It's not natural for an omega to go so long without a heat. Usually it won't come on if there's no alpha around, but I've heard stories about omegas triggering their own heats after intense dreams or visions. I just—"
"Wanted to be ready, I get it."
And Jared really did. For all that he hadn't found the omegas and betas of his pack attractive, that didn't mean he'd never fantasised about having a partner and a pup of his own. Not to mention the mating – he'd overheard some pretty fantastic stories about how good the sex was between mated couples. He knew the mechanics, of course, and he knew well how good it felt to touch himself, he could only imagine the ecstasy of being inside an omega's body like that.
"Should we go now? Do we need to take anything?"
Jensen nodded, chuckling when his smooth jaw dragged against the four-day growth of Jared's beard. "Just some food, water, and an oil lamp. There's blankets and things there already."
"Let's go then."
It was an effort to pull away from Jensen, but Jared placated himself with thoughts of what was to come. He got to his feet and pulled Jensen up with him, then together they packed as much food as they had on hand, filled two large water skins and readied an oil lamp that Jensen kept stashed away for emergencies. After extinguishing the fire and pulling on their coats – Jared's being the recovered furs from his Questing – they headed out into the cold.
With clouds lingering in the sky there was no moon to light their way, but Jared found that just as they had in the forest two nights ago, his eyes adjusted to the dark perfectly and he was able to follow Jensen without trouble. They trudged through the day-warmed snow and mud, snaking their way through the trees for what must have been an hour at the least, until finally they reached a steep rock wall. They followed along the edge of it, slightly sheltered from the wind, until they came to an opening so small Jared had to drop down on his hands and knees to get inside. Once he'd crawled through, however, he found that the space opened up large enough to allow him to stand completely upright. The main 'room' was larger than the floor space of Jensen's shack and stretched back far into the rock into a sort of hallway that grew more and more narrow.
The cave was already partly lit by a stone-lined fire pit in one corner, and a large pallet of grass and blankets lay on the opposite side. There were boxes and other shelves and bits and pieces all around the place, and Jared decided it felt quite pleasant, as if it were Jensen's second home. And maybe it was.
"It's perfect," Jared said, putting his armful of food and water skins down on one of the wooden boxes and divesting himself of his coat. His broken watch still adorned his wrist, but he decided he'd keep it there for sentimentality's sake.
"It's where I first lived after my Questing until I finished building the shack. Now it's just a back-up."
Jared waited until Jensen had hung the lamp up on a hook and quickly pulled him into his arms. He cupped Jensen's face in one hand and drew their lips together, his stomach flopping about on the inside at the thought that this was his first kiss - their first kiss.
"I've been wanting to do that since I first saw you," Jared said as he pulled back, pressing his thumb into the centre of Jensen's lower lip.
"Why didn't you? Might have saved us two whole days of wasted time."
"Guess I'll just have to find a way to make it up to you."
Grinning, Jared leaned in again, catching Jensen's mouth more deeply the second time. At first it was simply the press of their lips, heads cradled in hands, but then Jared gave it rhythm, sucking and lightly nipping at Jensen's lips and eventually adding his tongue to the mix. He licked into Jensen's mouth and flicked at his tongue, indulging in the taste of him and actively searching for more. There was a sweetness there that made Jared's mouth water with delight, a honey-like tang that had him instantly addicted, and he plundered Jensen's mouth in want of more, needing it more than anything. The craving clouded his mind until it was all he could think about, digging deeper for that singular flavour.
Gasping for air he pulled back, holding Jensen by the shoulders to keep them apart.
"What- what was that? I just… I lost my head for a moment. I couldn't—"
"That was my heat taking you over," Jensen said with an air of caution, his lips kiss-swollen and ripe red, "It's really starting to kick in now since I've been urging it on mentally. It will only get worse from here."
"It's alright," Jared reassured him, taking a steadying breath, "Now I know what it's like I can be prepared. I'm going to take good care of you."
He urged them back towards the pallet and began helping Jensen out of his clothes. His coat, shirt, boots and trousers were all flung to the side without care, and Jensen was down to his underwear when Jared held him still with a hand on his arm. Dotted around his torso were faint lines of varying length and colour – most were thin and silvery-white, others were mottled pink and raised from the skin, but all had thankfully seen the passage of time.
"Jensen… these…"
"Are battle scars. I told you my pack liked to fight, didn't I? I don't know how such things were done in your pack, but for us omegas weren't exempt from the fighting. We had to take part like everyone else."
They made Jared a little sad, but they were a part of Jensen which made them beautiful all the same. With care he laid Jensen down on the blankets and kicked his own clothes off, then pulled Jensen's shorts down and away. Laying their bodies together fully naked for the first time was a revelation, but Jared knew his moment of contentment was to be short-lived. He could feel Jensen's heat teeming off him in waves, and the smell of it was now thick and heady, to the point where he could no longer ignore it.
"It's starting," Jensen said, his eyes looking watery and feverish, his skin flushed pink.
"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to hold back much longer."
"Good. I don't want you to. I've been waiting for this for far too long already."
It was just the sort of approval Jared needed, and he kissed Jensen once more before moving on to his neck, punctuating each inhalation of breath with a quick bite to Jensen's flesh. The flavour was divine on Jared's tongue and he moved swiftly down Jensen's body, licking briefly at his puffy nipples which were inflamed by the heat fever, and then taking his hard cock in hand. It was the first that either of them had paid any attention to their arousal, and Jared delighted in the way Jensen squirmed at the touch, his legs subconsciously pulling up closer to his body and spreading themselves wide, offering himself up to Jared.
And Jared didn't want to keep him waiting any longer, nor himself for that matter. His own cock felt hard enough to hammer nails and his knot was already threatening to pop, such was Jensen's effect on him. He took Jensen in his arms and easily flipped him onto all fours, finally getting a look at his hole for the first time. During his teenage years he'd overheard plenty of conversations between the other males of his pack, talking about how good it felt to stick their dick in an omega hole, how hot and slick and amazing it was. Jared may never have seen one in real life before that moment, but just looking at the little pink ring, all open and shiny with slick, fulfilled every fantasy he'd ever had about it – and he hadn't even gotten himself inside yet.
Jensen's body called to him, begged him onward, and Jared could feel himself slipping into quicksand. The reality struck that Jensen's heat was going to swallow them whole, suffocate them with sex, and there would be no real relief until they came out the other side. But he was ready for it. Hot and dripping and ready. And Jared took hold of his cock, squeezing down at the base to keep his knot at bay, and lined himself up. He took hold of Jensen's hip with his free hand and held him still, though as soon as Jensen felt the tip of his leaking cockhead brush against him he began fighting Jared's hold, his body urging back, desperate to be filled.
"Please, Jared, please, please, just… I can't… just… need it now, please—"
Jensen's voice was muffled by a mouthful of blankets which he was biting down on and his fingers were curled hard into the woollen fabric, knuckles white.
"S'alright now," he hushed, and Jared felt a little like he was suddenly watching from the outside. He could feel every sensation right down to the tip of his toes, yet Jared looked on as if someone else were controlling his actions.
There was no way around it, though. Just as Jensen had warned, the heat was in charge.
Any regrets passed by instantly the moment Jared started to press inside. Jensen's hole gave only the slightest resistance before the head of Jared's cock was sucked inside with a wet 'pop'. He slid in easily after that, Jensen taking the whole of his impressive size with barely a twitch. There was plenty of sound, though, as Jensen moaned continuously into the blankets below, his face now slack with pleasure. And Jared wasn't much different. He managed to take charge enough to force his mouth closed, but there was still a dribble of saliva trickling its way down his chin – no doubt it would stay there until it dried out.
His hips withdrew slowly, then Jared was slamming back into Jensen's ass with fervour, their flesh slapping loudly with the force of the thrust. It continued that way, with Jared pounding Jensen almost viciously into the mattress, long enough that Jared managed to lose track of himself completely for a time. His awareness only returned when his knot had finally swelled enough to catch on the rim of Jensen's hole and he only managed another one, two thrusts before they were tied, Jensen's body instinctively clamping down around him, ready to milk him dry.
Jared came with a roar, his consciousness suddenly thrown back into his body, and he collapsed down on top of Jensen, shaking and limp and sweaty from the intense exertion. He rolled himself onto his side taking Jensen with him, wrapping his arms tightly around the omega's waist. Jensen wriggled from the change in position and Jared slid a hand down over his stomach to take hold of Jensen's cock, now soft and sticky with his own release.
"Jensen?"
"Mm?" The reply was barely audible.
"You're amazing."
"Mm. Y'r not s'bad. Didn' even need a hand."
With a grin, Jared gave his new mate's cock a playful squeeze before letting it go.
They laid there in silence, just breathing, until Jared was able to slip free of Jensen's ass. But barely five minutes passed before Jensen's fever began to spike again, and Jared buried his face in the back of his neck, his teeth pressing into the skin, eager to bite.
"How much longer?" he asked, already worn out but knowing they were far from the finish line.
Jensen laughed knowingly. "As long as it takes."
_.~*^*~._
Jared had just fitted the last plank of woof onto the shack's extension when he heard a familiar rustling through the trees.
He put his tools down and turned around just in time to see a large green-eyed wolf emerge from the forest, a young pup dangling from its mouth by the scruff of its neck. The mere sight had his heart near exploding with joy in his chest, just like it did every time he set eyes on them, and he would swear that the feeling never waned in the slightest.
Moments later there was a two year-old waddling over to him and Jared scooped her up in his arms, swinging her around. He would never forget the stunning clarity that had struck him back in the cave that day, another forty-eight hours after their first mating. They'd woken curled up on the blankets together, exhausted beyond belief, caked in old sweat and dried come, and it had hit Jared like a lightning bolt out of the blue.
Jensen had told him 'as long as it takes', but it hadn't registered until that moment that he'd meant 'as long as it takes to get me pregnant'.
After that Jared hadn't been able to stop touching Jensen, putting his hand on his stomach, scenting him to see if his smell had changed. It got ridiculous to the point of annoyance, and Jensen had had to slap him away more than a few times. But things had progressed beautifully all the same, and not much later they'd ended up with a third mouth to feed. Life was blissful, if exhausting, and they'd lived in the cave to start with until they figured out what to do with the shack. Two years later and they were still working on it – time had a habit of getting away from them – but they knew it would be worth it in the end.
Looking up from the adorable little girl in his arms, Jared was met with the most heart-stopping sight of all – Jensen, naked in all his glory, staring at the two of them like they'd hung the moon.
He reached out for Jensen's hand, but Jensen grinned and stepped away.
"Gotta catch me first."
Jensen shifted in three seconds flat and took off at a run, leaving Jared staring after him in shock. When he didn't move he got a giggle and a poke in the arm, and hurriedly he set his daughter down on a wooden bench by the vegetable patch and threw his clothes off in a rush. He centred himself just as Jensen had taught him, calling to the wolf inside him, and moments later he was cloaked in deep brown fur and standing on four very agile limbs.
To the cheers of his little girl he dashed off after Jensen, darting through the trees at top speed. He was going to catch his mate. Boy, was he ever. And he was going to pin him to the ground and nuzzle him until Jensen couldn't take it anymore and took Jared's throat between his teeth.
They had gone through another heat several months after Jensen had given birth, but the fever had burnt itself out after only two days and no conception was made. They decided it was for the best, however, and concentrated their efforts on their infant, which took up the majority of their time as it was. But Jensen would comment every now and again that he could feel the stirrings of another heat just below the surface, and sometimes Jared even thought he could smell it, though he didn't know whether or not he was just imagining things.
One thing Jared did know for sure was that there would be another pup on the way sooner or later. He and Jensen both dreamed about it, dreams which had the air of the spirits about them. The two of them were more compatible than they could ever have imagined during those first days after Jared's Questing, so perhaps it was the will of the ancestors that they start a pack of their own and teach them the ways of old.
That would be mostly Jensen's department, though. As for Jared, he was content to stick to the more practical side of things. No doubt there would be need of even more extensions to the shack in the not too distant future.
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Date: 2014-01-02 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2014-01-02 11:58 pm (UTC)That was very original. I like the juxtaposition of Jensen's 'old way' of life vs Jared's 'old way' of life without cellphones and the like!
Plus 'momma' Jensen carrying their puppy around by her scruff! :)
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Date: 2014-01-03 06:06 am (UTC)Momma Jensen is a force to be reckoned with! And he's got that parenting thing fully under control ;)
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Date: 2014-01-08 04:58 pm (UTC)And naturally, the 'meant to be' is always a given. Thanks for your wonderful comment, as always<3
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